The Importance of Being Earnest

by Oscar Wilde

Second Act

Fifth Part

Scene. Garden at the Manor House. A flight of grey stone steps leads up to
the house. The garden, an old-fashioned one, full of roses. Time of year,
July. Basket chairs, and a table covered with books, are set under a large
yew tree. Algernon looks about and sees Cecily enter at the back of the
garden. She picks up the can and begins to water the flowers.
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Cecily. Oh, I merely came back to water the roses. I thought you were with
Uncle Jack.

Algernon. He's gone to order the dog-cart for me.

Cecily. Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?

Algernon. He's going to send me away.

Cecily. Then have we got to part?

Algernon. I am afraid so. It's very painful parting.

Cecily. It is always painful to part from people whom one has known for a
very brief space of time. The absence of old friends one can endure with
equanimity. But even a momentary separation from anyone to whom one has
just been introduced is almost unbearable.

Algernon. Thank you.

(Enter Merriman.)

Merriman. The dog-cart is at the door, sir.

(Algernon looks appealingly at Cecily.)

Cecily. It can wait, Merriman ... for ... five minutes.

Merriman. Yes, Miss. (Exit Merriman.)

Algernon. I hope, Cecily, I shall not offend you if I state quite frankly
and openly that you seem to me to be in every way the visible
personification of absolute perfection.

Cecily. I think your frankness does you great credit, Ernest. If you will
allow me I will copy your remarks into my diary. (Goes over to table and
begins writing in diary.)

Algernon. Do you really keep a diary? I'd give anything to look at it.

Cecily. Oh no. (Puts her hand over it.) You see, it is simply a very young
girl's record of her own thoughts and impressions, and consequently meant
for publication. When it appears in volume form I hope you will order a
copy. But pray, Ernest, don't stop. I delight in taking down from dication.
I have reached "absolute perfection." You can go on. I am quite ready for
more.

Algernon. (Somewhat taken aback.) Ahem! Ahem!

Cecily. Oh, don't cough, Ernest. When one is dictating one should speak
fluently and not cough. Besides, I don't know how to spell a cough.

Algernon. (Speaking very rapidly.) Cecily, ever since I first looked upon
your wonderful and incomparable beauty, I have dared to love you wildly,
passionately, devotedly, hopelessly.

Cecily. I don't think that you should tell me that you love me wildly,
passionately, devotedly, hopelessly. Hopelessly doesn't seem to make much
sense, does it?

Algernon. Cecily!

(Enter Merriman.)

Merriman. The dog-car is waiting, sir.

Algernon. Tell it to come round next week, at the same hour.

Merriman. (Looks at Cecily, who makes no sign.) Yes, sir. (Merriman
retires.)

Cecily. Uncle Jack would be very much annoyed if he knew you were staying
on till next week, at the same hour.

Algernon. Oh, I don't care about Jack. I don't care for anybody in the
whole world but you. I love you, Cecily. You will marry me, won't you?

Cecily. You silly boy! Of course. Why, we have been engaged for the last
three months.

Algernon. For the last three months?

Cecily. Yes, it will be exactly three months on Thursday.

Algernon. But how did we become engaged?

Cecily. Well, ever since dear Uncle Jack first confessed to us that he had
a younger brother who was very wicked and bad, you of course have formed
the chief topic of conversation between myself and Miss Prism. And of
course a man who is much talked about is always very attractive. One feels
there must be something in him after all. I daresay it was foolish of me,
but I fell in love with you, Ernest.

Algernon. Darling! And when was the engagement actually settled?

Cecily. On the 14th of February last. Worn out by your entire ignorance of
my existence, I determined to end the matter one way or the other, and
after a long struggle with myself I accepted you under this dear old tree
here. The next day I bought this little ring in your name, and this is the
little bangle with the true lovers' know I promised you always to wear.

Algernon. Did I give you this? It's very pretty, isn't it?

Cecily. Yes, you've wonderfully good taste, Ernest. It's the excuse I've
always given for your leading such a bad life. And this is the box in which
I keep all your dear letters. (Kneels at table, opens box, and produces
letters tied up with blue ribbon.)

Algernon. My letters! But my own sweet Cecily, I have never written you any
letters.

Cecily. You need hardly remind me of that, Ernest. I remember only too well
that I was forced to write your letters for you. I always wrote three times
a week, and sometimes oftener.

Algernon. Oh, do let me read them, Cecily?

Cecily. Oh, I couldn't possibly. They would make you far too conceited.
(Replaces box.) The three you wrote me after I had broken off the
engagement are so beautiful, and so badly spelled, that even now I can
hardly read them without crying a little.

Algernon. But was our engagement ever broken off?

Cecily. Of course it was. On the 22nd of last March. You can see the entry
if you like. (Shows diary.) "Today I broke off my engagement with Ernest. I
feel it is better to do so. The weather still continues charming."

Algernon. But why on earth did you break it off? What had I done? I had
done nothing at all. Cecily, I am very much hurt indeed to hear you broke
it off. Particularly when the weather was so charming.

Cecily. It would hardly have been a really serious engagement if it hadn't
been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out.

Algernon. (Crossing to her, and kneeling.) What a perfect angel you are,
Cecily.

Cecily. You dear romantic boy. (He kisses her, she puts her fingers through
his hair.) I hope your hair curls naturally, does it?

Algernon. Yes, darling, with a little help from others.

Cecily. I am so glad.

Algernon. You'll never break off our engagement again, Cecily?

Cecily. I don't think I could break it off now that I have actually met
you. Besides, of course, there is the question of your name.

Algernon. Yes, of course. (Nervously.)

Cecily. You must not laugh at me, darling, but it had always been a girlish
dream of mine to love someone whose name was Ernest. (Algernon rises,
Cecily also.) There is something in that name that seems to inspire
absolute confidence. I pity any poor married woman whose husband is not
called Ernest.

Algeron. But, my dear child, do you mean to say you could not love me if I
had some other name?

Cecily. But what name?

Algernon. Oh, any name you like--Algernon--for instance. ...

Cecily. But I don't like the name of Algernon.

Algernon. Well, my own dear, sweet, loving little darling, I really can't
see why you should object to the name of Algernon. It is not at all a bad
name. In fact, it is rather an aristocratic name. Half of the chaps who get
into the Bankruptcy Court are called Algernon. But seriously, Cecily ...
(Moving to her) ... if my name was Algy, couldn't you love me?

Cecily. (Rising.) I might respect you, Ernest, I might admire your
character, but I fear that I should not be able to give you my undivided
attention.

Algernon. Ahem! Cecily! (Picking up hat.) Your Rector here is, I suppose,
thoroughly experienced in the practice of all the rites and ceremonials of
the Church?

Cecily. Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble is a most learned man. He has never written a
single book, so you can imagine how much he knows.

Algernon. I must see him at once on a most important christening--I mean on
most important business.

Cecily. Oh!

Algernon. I shan't be away more than half an hour.

Cecily. Considering that we have been engaged since February 14th, and that
I only met you today for the first time, I think it is rather hard that you
should leave me for so long a period as half an hour. Couldn't you make it
twenty minutes?

Algernon. I'll be back in no time. (Kisses her and rushes down the garden.)

Cecily. What an impetuous boy he is! I like his hair so much. I must enter
his proposal in my diary.

   * Next: Act II, Part VI

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The Scenes of the Play

   * Act I: Algernon Moncrieff's Flat in Half-Moon Street, W.
   * Act II: The Garden at the Manor House, Woolton.
        o Part 1
        o Part 2
        o Part 3
        o Part 4
        o Part 6
        o Part 7
   * Act III: Drawing-Room at the Manor House, Woolton

Transcription and organization by Jerry Stratton, for FireBlade
Publications. If you have any comments or questions, please let us know!
Jerry
jerry@acusd.edu
